What's your is mine. Didn't you get that memo?

Kenna has developed so fast. She is now approaching 21 lbs and seems very eager to be mobile on her own. One of the latest new manners she's taken on appears when I want to eat or drink something. Even though she has just consumed a full bottle and had her fruit and cereal, she notices that I now have something I am eating - a bowl of cheerios, perhaps. She'll turn and smile to me and then open her mouth patiently like one of those little baby birds. I'm thinking, "You're kidding me, chica. You just ate." But hunger is not the point. If I don't quickly break off a piece of what I've got and shove it in her mouth, she does her frunstrated squeal "Uummmm." This is her manipulating me ; ) and I willingly concede defeat. "Here you go." She smiles and gums the food down. She'll do this until she sees I'm not longer eating, smiling at me with every bite and sip of juice. Who knew she liked pad thai?! I'm glad she's an adventurous eater, actually loving peas. I seem to realize that she believes what is mine is hers, and that I should have received that memo some time ago.

I have tried on two occasions to eat, holding the bowl behind her head and taking bites without tinking the spoon on the bowl and trying to chew softly even pausing when she turns to look at me. Apparently, she gets suspicious. I finally said, "This is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to hide my ravioli." Getting with the program, I now resort to making sure what I have can be broken into small pieces and I share. Perhaps I'm teaching her a lesson of sharing that she'll practice as she gets older. Or perhaps she'll think that it's always others who need to share with her since I never try to drink her bottle or taste her green beans.

Nocturnal activities . . .

Somehow I thought my being up all night would be due to elaborate partying or being frisky with my mate . . . Amazing how I feel so exhausted and yet so excited that I might get a chance to cuddle with K-town for a moment in the middle of the night! Yes, I am crazy, AND it's true! It isn't the first time I've been up since 2:00 am, my last midnight cuddle with Kenna. So what if it's because she's wet and so what that I need 8 hours of sleep or I have trouble remembering to wear matching shoes before I rush out the door to work?! I still get a brief quite moment of just me and her. I still get her head resting comfortably on my shoulder before I lay her back down for bed.

It's the middle of the night, and I'm watching the most beautiful snow fall outside the window and listening to Kenna breathly softly through the monitor. I thought I would be frustrated for not being able to sleep, which in the past has been the case. But this morning in this moment I feel fortunate that my life is what it is, that I am up in the middle of the night, that I feel at peace on the inside.

My coming out . . . I am a mom!!

Interestingly I never thought I would say "I am a mom!" I never thought I could live up to the expectations I had in my mind of what it takes to be a good mom. Today I say, "What the hell!! I am a mom, and I think I'm pretty darn alright!" Afterall, Kenna seems happy and healthy, and the joy she brings to our lives now is more than I could have imagined! That said, I still feel I lead two lives . . . I'm still the driven corporate chica would can crack a whip and unleash the wrath when she needs to and . . . I've become this soft, nurturing, sappy mommy person who gets the biggest joy when I hear Kenna laugh and see her smile.

So perhaps I would say, this is my coming out . . . I am ready to embrace this dual personality. When I'm with Kenna, I am mommy to the core of my being. Now when I'm at work I am . . . da, da, da, da dahhhh . . . undercover mom, designing fabulous beauty products for people around the world! Today it's a dirty diaper and the end of split ends and blemishes! Tomorrow, who knows what challenges my days will bring!